It’s two in the morning
The end of winter,
I’m writing to you now to tell you
That this year your garden won’t bloom
The scent of your roses will no longer fill me with joy
When I come home because you are no longer here to plant them
And I lay here at two in the morning able to recall nothing else besides your roses.
I kept one you know?
It’s not alive anymore but I still keep it.
But is a rose all I get for my heart is that all that it’s worth?
I kept this rose and you kept my heart.
How is that fair?
How is it that you can move on
And I can’t help but think about you
And your eyes?
But why are they red?
Why can I never see the serene blue anymore?
Those eyes that reminded me of the sky.
The freedom that I thought I could have.
Now reminded me of blood
Of burning red fire.
They are the colour of your roses.
The only thing I have left of you.
But my rose is dead now,
Just like your love.
Maybe it’s the roses that I loved,
Maybe that’s why I wanted you there.
So as long as I have my roses,
Nothing will fill,
The emptiness inside
The hole that you left
And so to fill it I think I’ll put a bullet in my chest.
And you were half crazy
But I was too
And that’s why we worked,
My craziness and yours.
But now you’ve gone and left me with nothing but a rose
And a brass cork to fill the hole in my heart.
So for now I think I’ll bid farewell
To you and your love
That you think you know so well.
But little do you know
He will do the same you did to me
Take your heart and leave you with nothing but a rose and a gun,
And a bullet to fill the hole in your heart.
Then you will be with me
And I will get to see
Those eyes that remind me of your rose,
So I can tear them out and keep them forever
Maybe even replacing my own with them
So the world around me may be crimson.
Like your roses.
Or the blood that gushes out of the bullet hole.
Did he at least give you a rose
For all your troubles?
Image 1: http://fresh-tattoos.com/banner-tattoos/rose-gun-with-strength-banner-tattoo
November 4, 2016 at 5:02 PM
Oh my goodness this is haunting in the most beautiful way possible. I love the format that you used, it makes more of an impact when you are reading. The repetition of the rose is powerful and very tastefully done. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Tiana
November 4, 2016 at 10:44 PM
Wow this was so great! I loved how you compared a bullet to a brass cork, and the roses paired with the gun gave the whole poem a beautiful yet hunting feel to it. Keep up the great work.
Aliza
November 6, 2016 at 3:01 AM
Aaman,
The repetition of her roses is very powerful in a way that the narrator can’t get over them no matter how hard he tries. They are just stuck in their mind preventing them from moving on. I love the idea of the rose colour matches the colour of blood. It gave a very dark yet beautiful feel to two entirely different things. Keep up the great work!
Emily
November 9, 2016 at 1:59 AM
Howdy Aaman,
Wow. I definitely feel like this could be a spoken word or something! I liked how you repeated certain words and phrases throughout the piece to maintain imagery and the impact of said words.
The only improvements I would recommend are improvements on GUMPS.
Overall, a really creative piece full of good storytelling and imagery. Keep it up.
-Lucas
November 11, 2016 at 8:26 PM
This poem brings to light the feelings of someone who has lost the person they thought they loved. The rose kind of seemed like the beauty of the love in the beginning, but now that the rose is dead, so is the love. This is so beautiful in the most haunting way, great job!